Waiting

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

I may be the only one, but I've enjoyed this cold winter.



Winter has been this apt and weird parallel for this season of life we're in right now...waiting.

(If unfamiliar, you can read more about our journey of my husband's schooling here.)

We're on the month countdown to Match Day, that springy, sunny-in-my-mind, vibrant, giddy day (that maybe includes some sort of sundress, because in my mind it's warm and lovely?), where everyone opens their envelope and finds out where they'll be for residency. This winter has brought lots of evenings at home in front of a fire, dreaming and scheming with my dear husband and life partner about what waits for us after graduation.

March 21st - that date that's been on our minds for months now, is now drawing near. Right now is that weird stretch of time right before you find out big news... you can't help your own ignorance, but you know the time of Knowing is drawing near. Like in the weeks when you're pregnant but you don't know yet if it's a girl or a boy... and when you find out it's a girl (in our case), you mentally look back at your unenlightened self and think, how could I ever thought this baby was anything but a girl? (Taking it a step further--then you meet your baby, and you think about how you pictured that baby while she was in utero, and realize that your wildest imaginings, in their ignorance, fell quite short of the real thing. You do this twice.)

So we wait. Less than four weeks until we find out where we'll be living for the next three years. Just like that, we'll open the envelope, and we'll KNOW! Even if we stay here, things will change, which is exciting. Jonathan will change from student to resident (most notably from negative income to positive income). Another step of our journey completed.

Anytime in life I'm asked to wait on something, I think about one of my favorite scriptures--which never really made sense to me until I was an adult going through not only times of waiting expectantly, but also loss.

"For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully, just as I have also been fully known" (1 Cor. 13:12, NASB).

My eyes always sting with tears whenever I read this passage, thinking of how we work so hard at living our lives in this world, which is really but a poor, dingy reflection of the glorious time that awaits us with God. (And then I think, with some longing, of all of my loved ones who have gone before me to that place where they see "face to face.")

Please don't misunderstand my serious tone with this--we've really been enjoying life despite these months of waiting/uncertainty. The sweetness of watching our girls grow, time together as a family, deepening in our friendships and learning more about the world and ourselves--it's been a good season. God has really shown kindness in removing a lot of anxiety from this last part of the process for me, for which I am very thankful.

Stay tuned!

5 comments:

  1. Couldn't have said it better. The time is drawing so near. Love you guys. So much. So glad we've gotten/are getting to share this crazy time in our lives.

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  2. Love that verse! Love this post! Excited for you to find out!

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  3. At first glance, I thought that was Juliette with you. Molly is starting to look like big sister, isn't she? Or is it just my tired eyes?!

    I need more pics of me with my kids. What a treasure.

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  4. I love your words and your heart. This is such an exciting, nerve wracking, sweet time in y'alls life! I cannot wait to see where and HOW God is going to use y'all next!!

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