The Thing About Parenting (thus far)

Sunday, January 29, 2012

I like to outsource. I have no problem consulting and/or compensating the expert in any given field, be
it plumbing, web design, or trimming bangs—if affordable, I’d rather it be done right the first time than waste time messing it up myself and have to get it redone anyway. Call it lazy, smart, or plain realistic…it’s just the way I am.

Don’t misunderstand where I’m headed…that little babe of ours is the most precious thing in this entire
world to me and you’d have to remove my head or something before I’d concede the job of being her mommy. But we’re almost 6 months into this gig and I’ve realized—and it’s actually pretty jarring—that there is no one person on this earth I can consult with or talk to or read that can tell me absolutely, 100% what is the “right” thing to do with my baby, in x situation. For earthly care decisions, the buck stops here. And while this is obviously the way it should be, this probably (read: definitely) is the first experience in my life where NO ONE ON THIS PLANET is more of an expert in something (Juliette Jerkins, in this case) than me!  How completely odd.

And there’s so much decision-making. So much everyday decision-making. I just had no clue.
Should we wake her up? Should we let her sleep? Should we be feeding her more/less? Should we be spacing out her feedings more? Should we let her cry? Should we not let her cry? And what will this all mean for tomorrow—and more importantly, the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT???

Sure, you can ask for opinions or bat around ideas/theories. You can consult with your mom or your bffs with babies, ask your pediatrician, read books, read blogs, but at the end of the day (read: middle of the night), YOU are the mommy (and daddy), YOU are the one(s) making the final decision. The “right” thing for Juliette is left to us. It’s totally foreign to be in the middle of such a guessing game, this whole parenting-a-tiny-(mute)-human thing--which involves endless trial and error, might I add--and to then be holding the position of expert! Unimaginable!

(Is it just me?)

3 comments:

  1. Oh girl...I can't tell you how many times I've thought, "If someone could just tell me what to do!" And usually I feel that over the simple, every day decisions. Big things are easy, and often black-and-white. But the minutia of each day can be so gray! Luckily, the further along I go in this journey of parenting, the more I realize that MOST of those decisions don't matter too much. The big things, the things that I am often fairly sure of, are the things that will matter most in his little life.

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