The Upside of being The Girl with Big Hands

[the coffee cup for some scale]

Anyone who has spent any significant amount of time with me is aware of my enormous hands. These suckers are no joke. In fact, my husband’s first-ever nickname came about when we were friends/acquaintances in high school: he dubbed me “Man Hands”—(hey, the guy loves him some Seinfeld). As a little girl, my mom would be painting mine and Martha's fingernails, and make constant remarks like, "Martha, you should be a hand model." I do not remember a time when my hands weren't freakishly large, even at seven years old.

Until recently, I’ve always said that I hated having oddly large hands—-I can never wear bangle bracelets, display rings in stores, or most non-stretchy gloves in the wintertime. Plus, one feels way less girly when shaking hands with men in public usually/always elicits, “Hey, nice handshake.”

And it’s not like losing a little weight or getting some sort of quick surgical procedure can alter one’s hand size—-you pretty much have what you’re dealt in the hand-realm.

Thus, in my Pollyanna-ish quest, I give you the Top Five Best Things about Having Freakishly Large Hands (if you’re a girl):

1. You can usually open any jars. Even the pickle jars the guys can’t open. Just give it a little time and you’ll wow them with your jar-opening prowess.

2. I was a pretty decent natural setter in volleyball. [In fact, my dear friend Polly used to say her neck feared for its safety when my hands would flip up for a set.]

3. In my extensive piano training, no chords were ‘out of reach,’ so to speak. These not-so-little digits can span eleven keys.

4. With the right crowd, pulling out the I-Have-Big-Hands bit can be a mildly entertaining sort of parlor trick. (Definitely sets you apart from the rest of the girls.)

and last but not least (and the catalyst for this post)…

5. Women in your family, looking to bestow sweet mementos to you, will endow you with rings that “will look good on your hand”—i.e., the rings are big. They are never dainty. And let me tell you, I have absolutely no problem with this. If this is the best thing about having big hands, then so be it.

Exhibit A:

[recently accepted ring from my granny a la reason #5--I LOVE it. please excuse the unsightly burn on my hand from a toaster oven incident. see: blueberry muffins.]

Thus I'll soldier on.